My orphaned blog!

I... lost interest in this blog quite a while ago. Now that I go in and scan it, it's a weird time-capsule of stuff. Interesting to see how I've changed in the past couple of years.

I will probably keep this one going, but it's going to require some housekeeping before I can go too far! I see a bunch of stuff I want to delete. Onward and upward.

I miss my Creative Zen!

Everybody says they are OK with change, right? Me too. Then my wonderful, wonderful, beloved Creative Zen V Plus plopped into the water while I was getting a pedicure. Now it's a wonderful, wonderful hunk of inert plastic. Dead plastic. I am sad.

I even have multiple backups -- my Droid phone serves the purpose, as does my big honking Zune (I AM ***NOT*** AN APPLE PERSON. NO IPOD, NO IPAD, STEVE JOBS CAN STICK IT.).

But I miss my Zen.

Now I'm bidding to replace it on eBay. These things have held their value!

Online college degrees -- expensive racket!

When I was 18, I was an orphan and on my own in the world. I didn't have enough cash to pay for college, and nobody to help me understand that I could have probably won grants, scholarships, etc -- broke, no mom and dad, and a high school top honors student with scorching hot SAT scores and a high GPA. But nobody told me, and I was too green/dumb/naive to figure it out on my own.

So I went to work.

Then I fell in love, started working with my soon-to-be-husband, who 25 years later is still far better geared to be a lone wolf entrepreneur than a robot employee.

And college... well, I sort of skipped that part.

I got busy! I got busy with life -- with running a business that did well and supported us beyond what we imagined, I got busy having two beautiful daughters and being their mom. Then I got busy rolling with the economy, going through a bunch of life changes, still being mom, still married.

I dabbled, twice, with working toward a degree. I'd add a few classes, bootstrap my way through the costs... never a student loan... and then couldn't afford it and stopped.

NOW, I'm serious about wanting to finish the damn bachelor's and move right into a master's. Because I know myself, and I think I'd be a really great instructor at some point. Plus in my field, a degree is pretty much expected -- it's the baseline you need to get in the door.

So, I signed up for a local university that only recently started an online program. I figured, I love start-ups, this should fit me. I thought, this should be challenging but good.

Now I'm six classes into it, and I am frustrated. My grades have been all A's with a couple of A-'s. The work is not hard. And I've realized that it all hangs on the instructor: if the instructor sucks, the class will be borderline unbearable. I thought that could only apply in a classroom setting, but not so!

My last class was taught by a guy who GETS IT for online education -- he rocked. He challenged. He joked. He prodded. He was thought-provoking and encouraging. I loved that class.

The class before it blew chunks. The current class, ditto. The content is LAME. By the end of the first day of class, I had completed every quiz for the entire course (100%). I'm currently running 3 weeks ahead of schedule on the work; I just won't turn it in until then. One of the two Big Assignments for the class had me read a 55-word "case study" and write 750 words. (I can write 750 words in my sleep, duh.)

The only thing that keeps going through my head is, "THIS is costing me $89&?!?!?!?!"

Because that's the per-class tuition -- $897. There are 13 students in my class (at least, per the Introductions that were posted as the first Discussion assignment) -- that's $11,661. For 8 weeks "work" how much does the instructor get -- maybe $750 per week? (I am totally guessing) that would be $6000 for 8 weeks. So, does he put in 10 hours of work per week @ $75 per hour? Or is he supposed to put in 20 hours per week @$37.50 per hour? Or, does he get paid more? Does he get a percentage of the class enrollment -- 30%? 40%? an even split?

So far, I've seen the instructor post two Announcements (about 1 - 2 paragraphs each) plus very short (1 - 3 brief sentences) comments to a select number of students. No grades posted yet -- though our deadline for the first wave was now two business days ago.

So... I keep coming back to... what the hell am *I* getting for $897? Simple -- I am getting the promise that I can hang a shiny degree attribution on my resume. That's it. The questions for the class have been lame -- the assignment for the next two weeks is to write a 200-word discussion posting on: "describe your company's drug testing policy."

$897. It is a racket.

(But hell, I should talk? I work for a MONEY LENDER. Hah!)

Honesty and Bravery

There's a woman on Facebook that I just utterly admire. Her name is Annie Hamilton and she has over 4200 friends on Facebook. She is brave. She speaks out about what she believes in, and her passion jumps from the page.

I am not that brave.

I wish I was.

I am afraid to be honest about controversial things that I think. I work in marketing and public relations, and my political filters always kick on.I wish it wasn't so, but it is. I admire people who have the courage to be honest.

Xmas music ALREADY???

A week before Thanksgiving, and it's already full-blast with the holiday toonz. Yikes! This has just been a helluva year, but still I'm thankful that it hasn't been as bad as some other people had to experience.

Marty nearly died in January -- but right now, he's cranking guitar along with ZZ Top in his office. And he's working just about nonstop with Kaiser Permanente on a boatload of projects. Thank god for that. And that he's still here, and healthy.

Brenna moved to Florida with David. Now she's a sometimes-voice on the phone, a sometimes-email, and twice I've chatted with her on video. I HATE this "growing up" stuff. But she's doing okay there.

Ayla now has both drivers license AND car. AND is 18, an official adult (though still a kid in my book).

Me? I was not about to finish out the year without accomplishing a couple of goals:

I'm now a student at CSU Global, so far with an A-average.

And I'm working out regularly with a trainer, four days a week.

Job's still going, but it's been a horrible year in the financial industry. But the job IS still there, even if it's been mostly a boring year. But that's why it's so important to have other goals, other things to keep me going! The job gets the lion's share of my time each week, but unless something changes radically with it (which I am sure isn't in the cards) it's predictable and not terribly challenging. so I need to create my challenges elsewhere.

And I guess that's healthy, right? No need to look at my job being "everything" -- that's not normal. So I guess I'm moving toward being more healthy!

Onward and upward.

Monday, she DRIVES

Monday is A's driving test. Yikes. My last kid with a drivers license. This is very, very hard for me to bear. Sure, I'm happy for her... but I don't want to see her grow up and drive away like her sister. That's just too much.

I'm starting to understand what that term "empty nest" really means. And I don't like it.

When happiness hits you hard

This marks Week Three of my daughter's senior year of high school. So far, she's holding an A average. This is the kid who couldn't be bothered to even GET to school in the past, let alone to care about getting good grades. What a miraculous transformation it's been.

Both my daughters are just delighting me as they grow up. It HURTS to see them separate and become independent, hurts so bad. But I am just unbelieveably proud of them both.

Daughter B just moved to Florida. Daughter A gets her drivers license in (GASP) THREE DAYS. I simply cannot fathom this.

I hate that they're growing up.

I wish I still had the two of them, small and sweet, B clutching her treasured Ernie doll, and A with her little, four-tooth grin from a high chair. Oh, my girls, my treasures! Seeing you grow up has been hard on me. I want my little ones back -- but at the same time, I am bursting with joy over the beautiful young women you are becoming.

What a confusing time. I am so happy that it hurts. Never saw THAT coming.

finally the tomatoes turn red

Back in May, I planted a bunch of tomatoes. "Matures in 50 - 60 days" said the tags. So it's finally August, and we're starting to see some ripe ones. And they're wonderful.

Funny how long it can take "50 days" to go by -- more like a few months!

HIPPA matters, does it not?

OK, so there's this thing called HIPPA, the Health Information Privacy Protection Act. It means that if you're a medical provider, and you receive information from a patient, that you have to keep it CONFIDENTIAL. And yet, the other day I saw a practitioner that was covered by my insurance -- she had managed to "lose" my insurance card copy, and needed it again. And, she acted like it wasn't a big deal... but to me, it was! My insurance card holds info on my entire family -- and "losing" that breaks all the rules.

I think I need to let my insurance company know.

Sick violation

What do you do when a person you thought was a good person, turns out to be a soul-less sociopath? How do you cope with that? I'm struggling with it, and it still just stuns me that someone I thought was a normal, decent, responsible person was instead a criminal. And that that person decided to steal my signature as "their own" to get money. It's just... difficult to believe, but it's true.

What will happen to this person? Prison looms, it will be a life-changing experience for them. PRISON. Federal prison! YEARS behind bars, all for... money.

Sigh. Money is NOT the most important thing in life!!!!! It just makes me sad to think that someone I saw day-to-day, face-to-face, could be such a crook, and all for... money.

I am so thankful that I am not that kind of person. And I look forward to seeing that person get their just deserts.