Tonight my daughter Brenna and near-son-in-law David are spending the night in Colorado Springs. I've set up to buy them dinner at a swanky steak house called The Famous. It's wonderful, and I know They will have a lovely time.
I'm feeling a bit claustrophobic right now because my lifew has dwindled down to work-family-work, and will be there through June. Just reality.
It's a warm but cloudy Sunday afternoon, and outside on the back lawn my two big dogs are snoozing. Beside me on the king-sized bed, my husband is snoozing. I'm listening to some remarkably good acoustic guitar music ( from Marty's recording session this week) and thoroughly enjoying it. But I'm a bit at a loss on a quiet weekend. I've turned into such a work-drone; I will be through the month of June. Matter of fact, I have a serious bevvy of due-dates that hit smack on my mid-June birthday. FIgures.
My job is my anchor, and my rationale right now -- but I cannot help but feel that there is more that I am meant to do in this life. arrogant=sounding, yes? CAn't help it. I wish I had the sort of life that gave me respite from thinking about and worrying aboiut money, but I don't.
Funny thing is, I' NEVER wanted a pop-star existence; I've never wanted to have a larger-than-life world, all I've ever wanted was peace and solitude and quiet. I'd be THRILLEd to own a lovely little house in the country, with (always thoiught of as my non-negotiables in a dream world) a wonderful lap pool that's semi-indoor, witbh windows to the outisde, and a great hot tub under the stars right outside my bedroom -- like we had in Seattle -- but, really, that's it. No other "demands" for creature comforts -- swimming is the best thing for me, given my size, my joints, my life... I love to swim, and would do it every single day if I had the private option. Driving to the Rec Center after having our own pool is hard. Poor me! What a complait that is.
